WWKAE

Dude. Not much to say but wow. Thriller was the first album that I ever bought. I was so stoked on it, I would just sit and stare at the picture on the inside cover of him with the white suit and the little tiger. I would bump it so loud and put on my mom’s heels and choreograph routines over and over Billie Jean and PYT. Homeboy was super creepy, kiddie obsessions are not cool, and the phrase Blanket Michael Jackson says it all, but MJ’s music made its mark on my childhood.

I know its hard to narrow down, and there will be some disagreements, but below is my top ten Michael Jackson songs of all time.

10. Remember the Time (or maybe its just the video I love because Bad is pretty sick and it should be on this list)
9.  I’ll Be There (classic)
8. Thriller (another stellar video)
7. Man in the Mirror (seriously, take a look at your self and make that [wait for it] CHANGE)
6. Wanna Be Startin Somethin (HHEEEE HAW!)
5. PYT (total Chipmunk factor on this one appealed to me)
4. Rock With You
3. Billy Jean
2. Who’s Loving You (the more soulful classic)
1. Dont Stop Till You Get Enough (cant ever get enough)

I wonder what Bubbles’ faves are?

                             
So Lolo’s birthday was about a week ago. Even though we were exhausted from LJ’s bday stuff and a fantastic wedding weekend, we still had to rally to celebrate the big two. However, he thought it was still a continuation of LJ’s bday. When we woke him up singing Happy Birthday, he thought he was supposed to be singing for his brother. CUTE. I think by the end of the day he was finally about to embrace it and now eagerly yells TWOOOOO!!!!! when asked how old he is.

Every birthday eve, I whisper to the boys the story of the day they were born. This year, as I told Lolo his story before bedtime, I was overcome with such thankfulness for him. Even though the first trimester was like a walking nightmare, and even though labor was 2 fast 2 furious, and even though he is BONKERS and we wont be able to go to a restaurant for what feels like an eternity, it is all worth it. By having Lolo, I feel like it gave me another chance to enjoy parenting the way I am supposed to. It was revolutionary for me to have someone by my side, from beginning to end while I was pregnant. And not just someone, but my best friend who loved me and was willing to tough it out because that is what we are supposed to do. Lolo’s life took mine down another path, it gave me another chance at having a great experience of being pregnant, and I had another opportunity to be joyful at what lay ahead.

Even to this day, Lolo brings joy to our house. He has turned us into a full fledged family, complete with requisite brother drama and squabbles and all the fun that we all aspire our families to have. Lolo has been a messenger love and laughter, it kept us going through sleepless nights and ridiculous days, now hopefully it keeps us afloat during the terribles 2s. I’m sure it will, I’ve always been a sucker for cute boys with curly hair.

I know. I know. But did you really want me to spend the last 9 weeks constantly writing about how someone in our house was SO SICK and being a total Debbie Downer? I think that gets old after a while. Well, its gets old immediately.

You know who is getting old? LJ. Today he is 7 years old. SEVEN. (Shake em up Shake em up Shake em up Shake em). I really cannot believe it. Old people always say that times flies by, but seriously, I had no idea that seven years could go by in a blink. I cannot believe that the super snuggly little baby is now this tall, kind, fun genius. He is such a little dude, he just wants to skateboard and listen to music and either investigate new Bakugan or scientific discoveries.

I dont know if I will ever be able to express in words how much LJs life has enriched mine. I dont really know how to define myself without him. Not only did his presence help me to realize that I deserved  a life that was fun and beautiful and safe, but his presence forced me create it for him. Having LJ was the best decision I ever made, because it lead me to the other best decision I made: to marry Mr H. That little boy has brought so much light to so many people, I hope that I can continue to return the favor.

Last night I made Mr H and Nielsy (in town and brought a dozen delicious mini cannoli!) hang paper dragons and crepe paper and balloons in the living room. Because I wanted  LJ to awake and find himself in a magic birthday realm. He loved it. Pancakes for breakfast and he has requested Mc Donalds for dinner (we keep suggesting In N Out, but no dice). Then ice cream cake from Mitchell’s and presents. He is so stoked (and will definitely have a stomachache). This morning he told me, I think that its going to be a good day. I hope so, he deserves it.

Next up, awesome wedding in Mendecino this weekend and Lolo’s birthday next week.  More good days to be had. Its about time.

I’ve decided to answer your questions here, so that your worries are put to rest and the mysteries of epidemiology are solved and you can go ahead and enjoy your weekend…

So how did you know to get tested for swine flu?

Well, I work in a hospital that is filled with tons of know it all MDs. Most of the time this is annoying but there actually are some super smart and caring people there. A couple which suggested I get tested for it after seeing my haggard self show up day after day because I am awful at setting boundaries with my boss. One suggested it because of my kids and the other said I should because its just good to know from an epidemiological standpoint. It was free at my work and I have been feeling so awful, I figured why not.

And what was the test for swine flu like?

Well, first I had to call “infection control” and get screened over the phone so that was great for my self esteem. They told me that if I still had symptoms today, I should go in to get the swab. This morning, I walked into employee health and they immediately give me a surgical face mask. (Could be argued that I should have worn one for the last 5 days but…) Feeling awesome as I’m waiting in the hall possibly awaiting quarantine, I call my mom and talk to her muffled through my mask. Then they call me in, the nurse not only has a face mask too but is also rocking this plastic shield covering her ENTIRE head. Like she was either about to dismantle a bomb or pull out a blow torch. However, she was really nice and reassuring when asking my symptoms and told me she was proud that I was willing to come in. Yeah me! Then she instructs me to lean back and says, this will be uncomfortable. YES. She was right. She put a super skinny long Q-tip up my nose. Not just up it, but then pushed it all the way in, like to my eyes. Uncomfy for real.

How long does it take to get results from the swine flu test?

As my eyes were watering and I’m trying to not sneeze 1000 times, the super nice nurse told me that they send the test off to the Dept of Public Health and I should hear back in 1-2 hours.  The got back to me in 3 or so. But it was ok. I went and got some chicken tortilla soup to go, some flowers to make me feel better, then came home and laid on the couch while watching daytime TV. Actual rest is awesome.

Do you have swine flu or what?

No. I dont just some funky neverending virus. Phew. However it could have been a great guilt tool and I bet Lady Cubana is kinda bummed because she was looking forward to name dropping. I will take this as a lesson though, that it shouldnt have to take the threat of quarantine to keep my butt home and chilled out.  So now I’m going to watch Flight of the Concords and enjoy the springtime rain this weekend. Without a face mask.

So tomorrow I am going to “employee health services” to freaking get swabbed for swine flu! WHAT?! Kid you not. I have been so sick this week and since I work at a hospital and with HIV patients, I just need to know. And I am so lame that I have been going to work because my boss’s manipulative ways are totally effective on me.I have been locked in my office and not seeing patients but still. Way. Past. The Line.

I will keep you posted. Think good thoughts. At least I dont have the feverish chills anymore!

Sister is coming to town today for a long weekend! I cannot wait to see her and talk and laugh and shop and have her help. Which is never hard to get because she loves to smother the boys with love and do dishes. Breathing already feels easier.

1 ton of bricks

You know, its really hard to adjust to life after a vacation. Beyond the obvious of why its hard, there are underlying issues that I have been confronting in the last week. Or should I say the issues have been confronting me?

Perhaps its because we are reminded that the lives we live are not always the lives we thought we would live. One of the many things I love about traveling is the perspective that I gain from absence. Going to New York gave me clarity in a lot of fuzzy areas. Do I really love where I live and do we want to keep raising our kids here (yes)? Do I like my job (for now)? Do I want to go back to school (YES and ASAP)? And what do I need to change to make life better (dont even get me started)?

And then we came home, to a different time zone. Ouch. Then LJ got hit with a major fever/ sinus infection/ ear infection. Super Ouch. Then Mr H had follow up surgery on his leg. Vicodin-dulled ouch. And THEN I got all exhausted and emotional and overwhelmed and frustrated and worried. I try to act like I’m a great communicator but in moments like those, I can really freeze up. Real life hit me like a ton of bricks and then I was buried by those damn bricks and felt like I couldnt get out. And then, I did the unthinkable. I asked for help. I asked Mr H and the neighbors and my co-workers to listen, to watch the kids, to give me permission to not do EVERYTHING. Slowly, things felt better, LJ got better, Lolo smothered me with kisses and said “I of oooo” for the first time, and I could handle it all again.

I know, you’re probably thinking, come on. I went on vacation and it was hard when it ended? Wah. I asked for help?  Bra-freaking-vo. Totally and thanks for bearing with me while I acknowledge that I caved. At least I can acknowledge it now and move on to tackling the answers I found while soul searching across the country. I have decided that instead of just moving on, I will post a little something about the different parts of our trip. it was too much fun to skip. So sometime soon, I’ll do that.

I know that its been dry around these parts,but I’ve been really trying to focus to make sure that things are in order before we hit the road. Or I guess skies. Another trip? I know. But its spring break! We are going to NYC to visit our peeps: those who just had babies, those who are about to have babies, those who hope to never have babies, etc. We are subletting a 2 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and Bon is taking the train up for most of the week to bond with the boys and help us out. Freaking awesome, or at least the recipe for awesomeness is there.

LJ has a countdown that has been going on for days on end. He is so excited, he said “Its like they created New York just for me.” “Why?” “Donuts, pizza, and science museums.” Lolo’s current choo-choo fever should be pleasantly suprised with subways and buses galore. I’m just hoping that we can survive the cross-country plane ride with the wiggliest worm ever. At least he’s a total adorable charmer and can get distracted with min-stickers and goldfish crackers. Lots of crackers already packed.

I’m hoping to get some retail therapy, eat, eat some more, eat again, and then grab a bite. Oooh and perhaps hit up a dance class or two? But really, I’m just stoked to see people and walk for hours and hours on end. Hopefully not in the rain but it wont matter, I’m so excited to go!
As I frantically try to finish all my work stuff, Mr H has been fantastic with his making dinner and vaccuming and bringing me snacks. I love him. Lets hope that Mr H doesnt get stuck between the moon and NYC when we are there. Really, really hoping that doesnt happen.

Today commemorates the day that I did one of the best things ever. I married Mr H three years ago. It feels like so much longer than that to me. Not in a horrible and arduous way, but because its hard for me to imagine life before him. Granted, I’ve known him since I was 18, and we have been together twice as long as we have been married, so that makes it harder to comprehend…

Over the last 3 years, through the UPS and downs, we have become even better friends and partners in crime. I knew that marriages had the possibility to grow and strengthen and progress over time. But as I also know, theory and practice are very different existences. Its pretty effing fantastic to really love my husband, that we still get all stoked on each other, and that we are happy to see one another at the end of the day. Even if after a loud messy dinner with two super cute kids and one thousand things to do to get ready for the next day.

A bottle of prosecco is chilling in the fridge, something will be picked up from Tartine once I’m off work, and after the kids go to bed we’ll open the bubbly and talk about the last 3 years and what we want to do in the next 3 years. Odds are, it will be awesome.

I have not had enough caffeine this morning because we were up too late watching the Travel Channel. Again. So bear with me on this one. I hope I can do it some justice.

Every year, I try to make birthdays super special for the birthday person. I mean, its the day you were born! Does it get better than that? Now for Mr H, his birthday is never forgotten because its everyone’s favorite Irish hollurday. But I also feel compelled to step it up because I love him and I know he deserves to be spoiled too.The dude has put up with a lot from me. For the last 13 years (!) I have been lucky to have Mr H in my life. Even while he was stuck in the FRIEND ZONE he was still there for me, in good times and bad. I love that he is a true renaissance man, and when I say that I mean that he is multi-talented not that he attends Renn fairs like the dude in this pic:

But it would kinda be funny if he did wear that outfit today. And he is a pescaterian that loves his meat eating wife. I mean, I bet that he would totally support me going to Bacon Camp.

How could I not want to celebrate him?

The list has been made and crossed off: Mexican chocolate ice cream cake from Mitchells. Check. Presents wrapped and lovingly decorated by the kids. Check. Groceries bought for a soul food feast. Check. Now I just need to get some Guinness and get off work so I can get the party started…